Two Are Better Than One

{{My USP friend, Stephanie, and me!}}

This week, I got called something that I do not remember having ever been called before: STUBBORN. Not once, not twice, but THREE times in one week did I hear, “Kelsey, you are so stubborn!” The first time, I brushed it off and thought to myself: “Stubborn? Hah, this person obviously doesn’t know the real me.” The second time I thought: “Weird…this person must be in cahoots with the last one who called me stubborn!” But by the third time, I finally got off my high horse and cried: “KITEGEEZA KI?!?” (That’s Luganda for “what does that mean?!?”). According to my friend, Webster, the word “stubborn” means: “refusing to change your ideas or to stop doing something; difficult to handle.” Hmm. Now, I can see how someone might think that I am stuck in my ways. I mean, it’s no secret that I do still wear Twinkle Toes, even though I am 21 (hey, do what Uganda do!) But difficult to handle? Me? I just don’t know where anyone would get such a crazy idea! I mean, it’s not like I have a flair for the dramatic or anything like that…0_o

Alright, so maybe I am a bit more stubborn than I care to admit. (Emphasis on maybe.) But after that was pointed out to me here, I still wasn’t convinced that my critics meant stubborn in the same way that Americans use the term. So I did a little investigating, and I discovered that here, the meaning of “stubborn” is more along the lines of bold or strong-willed. That’s not too far from Webster’s answer, but I’ll take being called “bold” over “difficult” any day of the week! (By the way, one of the times I got called stubborn was during chapel on campus this week. My fellow USP students and I were leading the worship songs, and all I did was spontaneously rap at the end of one of them…is it such a crime to tell everyone that if they love Jesus they should throw their hands in the air and wave them like they just don’t care?!)

In my book, boldness is a good thing. I mean, I’ve heard rumors that there are perks of being a wallflower, but I’d much rather be out on the dance floor! I think Ugandans would agree with me, but only if everyone else was out there, too (which is not uncommon here). In a highly communal culture like that of Uganda, blending in is valued much more than standing out (hipsters, beware!). This is not to say that there is no room for freedom of individual expression here, but it does mean that strong-willed personalities like mine are less common, and that those who possess them are considered quite stubborn. I can live with that though, because the benefits of being part of a communal culture far outweigh the damper that it sometimes puts on my sparkly bows (which I still wear here anyway…you know, since I’m so stubborn).

{{A little corner of Kampala, the capital city.}}

Outside of my host home, the place where I first appreciated the gift of Ugandan community was Professional Reach Enterprises (PRENT), the organization with which I have been interning this semester. PRENT is a community development organization whose mission is “to inspire, influence, and disciple women and youth for sustainable livelihoods in diverse communities.” Founded by UCU graduates just two years ago, PRENT is staffed by young volunteers like myself who share a vision of communities being transformed through “holistic empowerment and professional intervention.” In other words, PRENT believes in passing on professional skills from all fields to their neighbors (who perhaps would not otherwise have the opportunity to learn them) in order to help them find their footing in life. PRENT carries out their mission through several initiatives, including educational health campaigns, career guidance events, college ministry, and training in agriculture, business, and crafts-making. And they do it all in the name of Jesus!

On a professional level, I am grateful for the opportunity to work with PRENT this semester because of the chance it has given me to dip my toes in the waters of community development and to gain a better understanding of the dynamics of cross-cultural social work. But even more importantly, on a personal level, I am grateful for the opportunity to work with PRENT this semester because of the amazing people that make up the PRENT family – a family which I was warmly welcomed into from day one. When I arrived at my orientation, there were about 8 people crammed into PRENT’s 10 foot by 10 foot office, ready to greet me with smiles and hugs. It was a beautiful thing to have perfect strangers welcoming me – and genuinely, I might add – as if they had known me their entire lives! (By the end of the meeting, they had even given me a Luganda name so that I could really feel part of the group – Princess Namutebi!) During orientation, I got a crash course on “PRENT culture,” which includes “swallowship” (aka – sharing food), sweat equity (aka – everyone does their fair share!), and a whole lot of prayer and encouragement for one another – and I’ve been reveling in that culture ever since!

At PRENT, there are no bosses. We operate as a team in which I am my neighbor’s boss and he is mine. Everyone’s opinion is valued, and no one carries their burdens alone. And that’s a pretty good description of Ugandan culture in general! Unlike in the West, where individualism and efficiency run rampant, consensus and the well-being of the group are of much greater emphasis in Uganda. One of the implications of this is that it’s pretty acceptable to assume help from people here. In America, the recruitment of volunteers can be a whole long process (which sometimes involves bribing people with Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccinos...). Because of the tyranny of our schedules and social calendars, it can be difficult to get people to commit. But here in Uganda, you need only say the three magic words – “I need help” – and an entire army of Ugandan maamas is there to back you up!

{{The PRENT family! :) }}

During my time here, I’ve been on both the giving and receiving ends of life, and it has brought me so much joy to be a part of a community of people who so freely share. I’m not offended when I wake up on a Saturday morning and get told that I will be spending the next 5 hours sitting in the yard doing dishes for a church event (and getting the most ratchet sunburn of my life!!). Why? Because I know that when I get sick in the middle of night with food poisoning, someone will stay up with me for another 5 hours, making sure that I stay hydrated and don’t die. I’m not offended when my Ugandan girlfriend asks to have my earrings, because I know that every time I visit her dorm, I can expect to receive the gift of listening from the very ears they adorn (accompanied by a nice glass of homemade orange juice!) I’m not even offended when I get asked to help pay for something that’s not for me, because I know that I will be welcomed into any home here that’s not mine. (All real life examples!) Whether I’m in my host community, at PRENT, or on campus, it is truly an honor and a privilege to give and receive, to love and be loved in a Ugandan context.

I think that one of the reasons we rarely see this same unashamed give-and-take in American culture is that there is a stigma on the act of asking for help. While it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for help on behalf of others (aka – charity), asking for help for yourself is too often seen through the eyes of Uncle Sam as a sign of weakness, incompetency, and even laziness. I will be the first to admit that I have a hard time asking for help. I’ll gladly spend my days running around playing the hero for everyone else, but in my hour of need, I often refuse to acknowledge the tear in my cape. If any of you beloved readers can empathize with me on this issue, let me just take a moment to encourage us all that this is not the way things have to be!

In fact, this is not even the way things are supposed to be. In the true story of the creation of our world found in the beginning of the Bible, the Creator, after busting out some sparkly stars and creepy crawlies, finally creates the first ever human being. (And, after seeing that his hair turned out red, decided to name him Adam! ;) ) Adam was given the freedom to run around the Garden of Eden and the responsibility to take care of it, but the Creator realized that something still wasn’t quite right about the pinnacle of His creation. Assessing the scene, the Creator announced: “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) Did you hear that, folks? It is NOT GOOD for man to be alone! I always thought that the reason the Creator said this was simply because Eve was on the way, and He was giving Adam a fair warning. But it turns out that there’s a lot more to it than that. It’s not good for man (aka – PEOPLE) to be alone, because things are much harder that way! If one solitary person tries to hold the weight of the world on her shoulders, she will be crushed. But if each of us offers up a hand, the burden is lifted. Simple.

{{A placemat factory in my community that my mom's friend runs.
My kitchen table in the States just got African! :) }}

Experiencing this truth in Africa has had profound implications on my spiritual life. To give you an example, let’s talk about the role of devotions in the journey of a follower of Jesus. I’m gonna be honest…the phrase “quiet time” has always rubbed me the wrong way for two reasons: 1) It has the power to breed legalism and 2) I’m loud. Among Western Christian circles, “quiet time” refers to a chunk of time – preferably daily and usually for about an hour – in which a follower of Jesus finds a solitary place to read his Bible, pray, and perhaps record his thoughts in a journal. This is certainly a Biblical exercise, seeing as Jesus regularly retreated off into the mountains by Himself to clear His mind and chat with His dad. So please don’t get me wrong as you read on, thinking that I am condemning devotional time altogether.

But I do want to point out something that I have noticed in Uganda, which is that followers of Jesus here are not too concerned about “quiet time!” (And when I say “not too concerned,” I mean that I literally have never heard even one Ugandan utter the term.) Ugandans absolutely seek out God on a daily basis, as I have written about in previous posts, but they do it how? TOGETHER!!!!! At first, this was a hard cultural norm for me to jump into, because to a large extent, I have been trained to connect with God through individual, solitary “quiet time.” So in my first month or so here, I was frustrated that there didn’t seem to be a place for that in this culture. All I saw instead was everyone participating in fellowships at school or hanging out together on their porches, drinking tea and talking about the things of God.

So eventually, taking my observations into consideration, I decided to give the whole “community” thing a try. And ya know what? The truth of Solomon’s words has been deeply reiterated to me in the process:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

{{Namutebi and the boys! They were my backup during chapel. ;) }}

Teamwork is a beautiful gift that I have rarely allowed myself the opportunity to receive, except in my closest friendships (for which I am E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y grateful!!). But now, through my experiences with the various “teams” which I am a part of here in Uganda, I feel much more willing to ask for help, to be vulnerable, to see my needs for what they are, even as I seek to meet the needs of others. Who knows, perhaps a more communal mindset will even knock me down a few notches on the stubbornness scale (Although I can’t make any promises when it comes to leading worship…)

So, in conclusion, friends, EMBRACE COMMUNITY! You don’t have to journey through life on your own. You're not supposed to! God has designed this world in such a way that there is an Eve to every Adam out there, an Ashley to every Mary-Kate, a Bonnie to every Clyde. (Alright, maybe that last one wasn’t the best example…but you get the point.) My encouragement to you is to dig deeper into the communities that you are a part of at this time in your life, or to seek some out if you are feeling a little solo dolo. Remember: everyone has something to give, everyone has something to receive.

Thanks a lot for journeying this far with me on my Ugandan adventures! Can you believe I only have 3 weeks left of school?! Then I’m off to Rwanda for the rest of April! Wheee! Hope to talk to you before then. :)

Until next time, be good to yourself and be good to everybody else!

Thanks for caring,

Kelsey Jo

I'm Losing It! (And You Should, Too)

{{My rural Ugandan parents - Caro and Joseph!}}

Two weeks ago, I had the privilege of spending some time out in the rural Ugandan countryside. I stayed with a host family in the beautiful village of Kapchorwa, which is tucked in the mountains bordering Kenya. For one week, I learned how to do life the rural African way – and let me tell you, friends…it ain’t no cakewalk!! (UGH, cake sounds so good right now…) Out there, people do a lot of hard labor just to survive, and my 5-foot, 2-and-a-half-inch, muscles-the-size-of-dill-pickles self struggled to keep up. I tried everything my family asked of me, which included hand-washing laundry, fetching water from the well, pounding coffee, washing dishes with sand (<<what??), and digging in the fields, among other things. I wasn’t so successful with much of it, but hey, at least I provided endless entertainment for the baker’s dozen of village kids who always seemed to pop up JUST as I was failing at some basic task of rural Ugandan life – which they could do with their eyes closed at age 5. How convenient.

I gotta hand it to them though, those kids were cute (see picture below)! If you know me at all, you may have heard that kids are not my favorite subject. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love them once they turn into teens! But when they’re so little, they wear me right out. (Plus, did you know that babies have no kneecaps? Petrifying. Squishy and petrifying.) SO! You can imagine what a pleasant surprise it was for me to have the ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD of children over in my yard each night, wanting to touch my (fake) hair, learn songs in English (the best I could come up with was Old MacDonald…?), and laugh at me for not being able to peel matooke (kind of like plantains…only fiercer!) without nearly slicing my thumbs off. Wheeeeeee! BUT! After praying to the Lord for a little boost of patience, I managed to connect with them through a universal language – DANCE! They were sooo happy to learn muzungu moves, and they even taught me a few of their own. By the end of my week, I was sad to say goodbye to all of those little rascals. They stole my heart! But that’s okay…I think a little piece of my heart has always belonged out under the African stars. :) (The skies don’t get any clearer than in electricity-free Kapchorwa!)

{{A front-door view of our home. :) }}

As you can see, the house that I stayed in was a simple mud home with dirt floors and a tin roof – middle class, for rural Uganda. However, my host family is currently working on upgrading to a brick house, and they expect to be finished within 3 years. (They also expect that I will come back to see it!) As I mentioned above, we had no electricity, but dinner by flashlight was fine with me. :) The foods were about the same as in Mukono, except MORE. It is tradition in Ugandan hospitality to serve the guest twice as much as everyone else; and it’s considered rude if, as the guest, you refuse. So…I think I gained about 6 pounds out there! But at least everything was super fresh. Most rural Ugandans are subsistence farmers, so all their food comes from the work of their own hands. SWEET! My host mom asked me about how I get my food in America, and she was shocked to hear about Wal-Mart. My host sister was equally floored by the concept of washing machines. And my host dad chuckled at the fact that I go to Starbuck’s to get coffee when he makes his own from scratch (like a boss!).

Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed at times about the ease of my lifestyle in America. I wrestled with wondering whether or not I should feel guilty for having so much when others have so little. I was disturbed by the stark difference between the positive messages that I grew up on and the life motto of my host sister: “born to suffer.” (And I was even more disturbed by her never-ending supply of smiles and laughter, in spite of such a paradigm.) I mean, I can’t say that I was surprised by the nature of my new friends out in Kapchorwa. After all, Jesus doesn’t say “blessed are the poor” for nothing (Luke 6:20). Often times, it is the poorest people who have the deepest faith in God (and subsequent joy), because they have little more to cling to than Him.

{{The Little Rascals! (Ugandan version.) :) }}

Now, I’m not saying that poverty is a desirable state by Biblical standards. But I’m certainly not arguing that wealth is, either. After all, Jesus doesn’t say that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God” for nothing (Matthew 19:24). And before we think that we are off the hook for being rich people because our names are not Donald Trump or Oprah, we must stop to consider the rest of the big blue world outside of America, in which 2.4 billion people are living (or perhaps I should say surviving) on less than $2 a day. It’s easy enough to brush off a statistic like that, but as one of my wise professors always says, behind every statistic is a face, and behind every face, a name. Like Joseph and Caro – my rural Ugandan parents. Or Minata, my sponsored child in Burkina Faso. Or Luis, my homeless friend in West Palm Beach. When we drop these names into statistics…suddenly it’s not so easy for us to brush the reality of poverty under the rug. And when we are unable to drop our own names into those same statistics…suddenly we become aware of the extent of our own wealth – even as “poor college kids,” drivers of beat-up cars, payers of mortgages, and consumers of Ramen noodles. The fact of the matter is, 21^st-century North Americans are among the wealthiest, most mobile people groups in history – and the question is, in what are we investing that privilege?

You see, the way you were designed from birth was no accident. Your family, your ethnicity, the place in which you grew up, the time period in which you are living, the opportunities which have been afforded to you, the resources available to you, the relationships that have developed in your life, and your natural abilities and interests – your total composition, as I like to call it – it’s all either a product or blessing of God. (Or, in the case of brokenness in any of those things, it’s a possibility for the redemption of God. But that’s a blog for another day. :) ) Now, in the American worldview, we are taught to believe that, if we put our minds to it, we can be anything that we want to be – that we can “create ourselves.” So there is a temptation for us to disagree with my previous statement and say that we have worked hard for the money, or the opportunity, or whatever else we see as our own doing – what’s God got to do with it? But I challenge us to stop and consider whether we could have achieved those same things had we been born in rural Uganda, or the streets of Guatemala, or the inner-city of Mumbai. In most cases, I’m guessing the answer would be no – which goes to show that God has placed our spirits inside 21^st-century North Americans for a reason. And let me tell you, it’s not just for our personal comfort and pleasure!

{{Carrying a jerrycan full of water on my head.
No biggie. ;) }}

Perhaps the phrase “blessed to be a blessing” is a little cliché, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Jesus calls us to GIVE – generously, freely, sacrificially. He gave His life to us, and in order to follow Him, we must also give our lives to others. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for [Jesus’] sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:25) As if the call to thank and honor the Giver of all things were not compelling enough, we also must consider our responsibility to His family. As Shane Claiborne discusses in his book, The Irresistible Revolution, as followers of Jesus, we are members of a family in which people are sick, homeless, hungry, and dying. I repeat – your brother is sick, your father is hungry, and your mother is dying of preventable disease, because with no job and five mouths to feed, she can’t afford a simple malaria treatment. (By the way, did I mention that my little sister is working 12-hour shifts in a sweatshop for less than 25 cents an hour, just so that I can have some cool wrappings?)

As rich Americans, we can afford many things – but ignoring these realities is not one of them.

Even if you are not a follower of Jesus, I think you can agree with me that something is jacked up with the world when just about 19,000 kids die every day of starvation, and I’m over here ordering Domino’s at midnight because the 3 square meals I already ate today weren’t quite enough. Now, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty for being American or ordering Domino’s, because neither of those things is inherently sinful. But what I am trying to do is get our gears turning about how we might be able to give to others out of our abundance as Americans. I can encourage you from my experience here in Africa that it is, in fact, quite possible to “live on less.” What I mean by that is not every single thing that we own is essential, and we don’t necessarily need 5 of everything that is. As much as it shocks me to say, I am managing just fine over here without my singing Justin Beaver stuffed animal and only 2 pairs of jeans!! So I challenge you to take an inventory of your stuff – the clothes in your closet, the food in your pantry, the toys in the boxes in your basement, the rooms in your home, and the money in your bank – and see what you can do to lighten your load for the benefit of others. This is something that I personally plan to do when I get back!

{{Beautiful Kapchorwa!}}

Of course, to whom you give is just as important as what you give. If you know names behind faces behind statistics, I encourage you to start there. Giving is always more meaningful when you understand the specifics of the need. But if you do not yet have relationships with the poor, don’t let that stop you from giving! I know that skepticism about whether or not your gifts are actually making a difference or are being used in the way you intend them to can keep a lot of people from giving, so feel free to take time to do some research first (just not too much time :) ). Determine which cause you are most passionate about, find a reputable charity that relates, and go for the gold!

While we’re on the subject, I want to put in a plug for child sponsorship. (This is a great way to get to know faces and names!) Child sponsorship works like this: you donate a certain amount of money each month, and a child’s life is transformed forever. The money is used for things like food, education, and healthcare – the bare necessities. I was a firm believer in child sponsorship before coming to Uganda, as I have been sponsoring a little girl in Burkina Faso for a couple of years. But now, I am even more passionate about the cause, because I have seen its success here up close and personal! I have met so many students at UCU who were sponsored as children, and even some who are still being sponsored as university students. My supervisor at my internship (still gotta tell you about that!) is a proud success story of child sponsorship, and even my littlest host brother here in Mukono is sponsored by a family in Pennsylvania. Every person I’ve met who has been sponsored has expressed their gratitude and adoration for their sponsors, so it is a mutually edifying thing. You get to write letters back and forth and actually build a relationship with a child halfway across the world! IT’S AWESOME!! If you are interested in child sponsorship, PLEEEEEASE visit www.compassion.com TODAY for more information! (There are other organizations that do child sponsorship, but I personally recommend Compassion International.)

{{My body guards. LOOK OUT!! ;) }}

SO! I know this was a long post. I appreciate you for sticking it out with me this far. I hope you have been challenged, as I have been here in Uganda, to consider just how you might be able to help the poor from right where you are. Poverty alleviation is a complex issue, and it’s not going to be solved alone or overnight. I know it can be easy to think, “how can I, as one little person on planet earth, possibly make any difference?” But believe me when I say this: YOU CAN! (I mean seriously, just look at Cindy Lou Who!!) By taking small steps together, we can make a difference – and over time, through our generosity and by the grace of God, our world will be a better place.

So what are you waiting for? Lose your life! I promise…you will find it.

Until next time, be good to yourself and be good to everyone else.

Thanks for caring,

Kelsey Jo

*Statistics courtesy of: The World Bank and World Vision