Miss Independent?

{{Fetching some water at our lodging in Gulu!}}

Many of you know that I recently reached a milestone in my life – I turned 21 last Thursday! Though I did not have my first drink (school policy and personal preference), I did have a “yogurt cocktail”-flavored lollipop (emphasis on cocktail), which was close enough for me! Birthdays aren’t really a big deal here in Uganda (case in point: two of my host siblings have had birthdays since I arrived, and I didn’t find out until weeks later! 0_o), but my new friends and host family were gracious enough to celebrate with me. The USP program assistants decorated my school locker, a group of my muzungu and UCU friends joined me for lunch at a local canteen (complete with a chocolate cupcake…an endangered species here in Uganda!!), and my internship staff provided the lollipop, along with a rousing Ugandan rendition of “Happy Birthday to You.”

The best part of my big day, however, was the surprise that awaited me at when I came home from school…a burger for dinner!! I repeat, A BURGER FOR DINNER!! Leave it to Chef Rodgers to make the birthday girl smile. :) There was no cheese (oh, how I miss that beloved animal byproduct!), but it was still a warmly welcomed break to the never-ending parade of rice and beans. After returning from my brief visit to food heaven, I ended the evening with a special screening of the Amanda Bynes classic, “What a Girl Wants” – brought to me by none other than my second oldest host brother, Alex. (Note: this was a major sacrifice for him, as his approval of a film rests on the requirement that someone has to die before the credits roll.) All in all, I had a great 21^st birthday. Simple, but unforgettable! Thank you to all of you who sent me your wishes!

{{THE BURGER!!}}

In the process of upgrading to Kelsey Version 21.0, I have been reflecting on where I have been and where I am going. To say that God has richly blessed my life in recent years (and really ever since I first met Him) would be the understatement of the century. The older I get, the more I understand His calling on my life, my indebtedness to His grace, and the power of His love. God alone has sustained you and me both from the moment He chose to breathe us into this world until the very moment that you are reading this post – and for such a miracle, I am eternally grateful! In this particular season of my life, I find myself desiring to experience a greater dependence on God. It is easy enough for me to say that I am desperate for Him, but I’m not so convinced that I actually understand the meaning of that statement in full. After all, there is plenty that I mindlessly do on a daily basis in America without ever asking for God’s help.

For example, I can walk to class, text my friends, design my outfit for the day (sparkly bows a must!), pump gas, take a shower, order an omelet in the caf (Miss B or bust!!), do my laundry, make a credit card payment, and have a jam session (helloooooo, King of Pop!) all on my own – no Savior necessary. Sure, I may chat with God in the process of any of these routines, but mostly because I’m seizing an opportunity to multi-task, not because I’m requesting His assistance. Indeed, it seems that I only know what depending on God means in so far as I am in a crisis, particular those in which my personal reputation and success are on the line. I do love God from the very bottom of my heart, but when I am honest with myself in that exact place, I cannot say that I really know what it means to FROG – fully rely on God. However, coming to this uncomfortable realization is only further confirmation that God has me exactly where He wants me….because Ugandans do.

{{A little shot of the BEAUTIFUL Nile River,
which we passed on our way to Gulu.}}

Something that almost immediately struck me about Ugandan followers of Jesus is the depth of their faith, and the way that it truly permeates every aspect of their lives. When they greet one another, they don’t say, “Hey girl hey!” – they say “Praise God!” Those who run small businesses make sure they give credit where it is due, naming their shops “God is Able Salon & Barber,” “Blessed Be God Chapattis,” and “Jesus Saves Tailoring.” The songs that they mindlessly hum in the quiet moments of the day are not Gangnam Style or Last Friday Night – they’re whatever they heard in the last worship service they attended, which was probably only a few hours ago. Truly, these people don’t just follow Jesus – they cling to Him like white on rice and beans!

And appropriately so, because they know Him as their Provider. In a place of great need like Uganda, God is called upon for help in the daily routines of those who know Him – and perhaps even of those who don’t. When you’re not sure where your next meal will come from, how you’re going to get home from work in the evening, or when you will be able to pay rent, you kind of have no choice but to pray. Now, I recognize that these very scenarios are not completely foreign to Americans – we struggle, too. But from what I’ve observed, the critical difference is that we, in our comfort-driven society, tend to panic and flee from the struggle, while Ugandans are more prone to embrace it. This is not because they desire to struggle, but because most of them trust that God will come through for whatever it is that they need.

{{Me and my friend Reagan - his birthday is the same as mine!}}

The most powerful way that I have come to understand this reality is through the testimonies of the women at Amani Uganda, one of the non-profit organizations that I had the privilege of visiting on my recent trip to the region of Gulu in northern Uganda. Gulu is an area in which civil war took place for over 20 years, pitting the Government of Uganda against the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), commanded by rebel leader Joseph Kony. (You may recognize his name from the “Kony 2012” craze.) One of the hallmark atrocities of this civil war was that the LRA abducted tens of thousands of children to be used as soldiers in the conflict. Arming children with AK-47’s and commanding them to “kill or be killed” – often in reference to their own family members and friends – the LRA slaughtered the innocence and eliminated the bright futures of an entire generation of northern Ugandans. Additionally, young girls were abducted and forced to become the “wives” of rebel commanders at as early as the age of 11, being subjected to violent rape, torture, and completely grotesque manual labor demands. Though the war has been unofficially over for about 5 years now (and I say unofficially because Kony never followed through with his commitment to sign the peace treaty and he is said to currently still be in operation from the Central African Republic), the journey to social, economic, and personal restoration for the victims of this conflict has only just begun.

The good news, however, is that healing is happening – at least for the women at Amani Uganda. With a mission for spiritual, emotional, and economic empowerment and recovery, Amani Uganda equips women victims of the war – especially rebel wives – with artisan job training accompanied by Biblically-based group therapy. The women in the program sew beautiful, handcrafted creations and sell them for profit, and when our group visited their workshop, we had the opportunity to purchase some. (NEWSFLASH: You can, too, at http://www.amaniafrica.org/shop-fair-trade !!) But we left with more than just awesome purses and potholders – we also received the priceless gift of the testimonies of those who made them.

{{A typical northern Ugandan grass hut. SWEET!!}}

In front of a large group of absolute strangers, four courageous women boldly spoke about the horrors they had faced as rebel wives, the times they wanted to give up and die, and the faith that kept them going. My heart absolutely broke as I listened to their stories. I wondered to myself, “How could anyone endure such trauma and have enough strength left to tell the tale?” The resilience of human beings never ceases to amaze me…

There is something inherently sobering about being in the same room with a survivor of any kind, but I felt especially humbled by these women whose life experiences have been so completely different than my own, in what seemed to me the worst way possible. The one thing that we do have in common, however, is hope in the redemption of the one, true, living God. I do not claim for one second that my understanding of such hope is as intimate as theirs, but what I do know is that “no one whose hope is in the Lord will ever be put to shame” (Psalm 25:3) – whoever you may be, wherever you may come from, and whatever you may be going through. If you’re looking for hope, purpose, or a clean slate in your life, I encourage you: turn to God. His ocean of love for you will never run dry. If you know Him already, I encourage you: trust in Him deeper. Have no fear in opening up those corners of your heart to Him that you like to try to maintain control over yourself. Because the truth is, we can depend on him – in our ordinary day to day activities and in the darkest nights of our souls – for “in Him, all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)

{{Some neighbors cooking at our hose for
yet another graduation party!}}

I trust that throughout the rest of my time here in Uganda, God will answer my prayer to become more dependent on Him. Considering that I can’t do much of anything by myself here anyway (for example, washing my clothes, cooking my food, bartering in a market, and even crossing a busy road all require the assistance of my Ugandan friends!), I am certainly being challenged in normal 21-year-old desires for freedom and independence. For now, I am making Psalm 63:1-4 my prayer, and waiting on the Lord for a deeper revelation of Himself:

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.”

That’s all for now, folks! I’m heading off to my rural homestay in the countryside for the next 10 days. Just a heads up, I will be without any kind of communication, so don’t be offended if I don’t e-mail you back right away. :)

Until next time, be good to yourself and be good to everybody else!

Thanks for caring,

Kelsey Jo